Being au pair - the horror begins in June!

I've heard about many organizations that support young people. Considering all my knowledge about it, I made a huge mistake. I become an au pair. I went to Spain to... I have no idea. To waste my time.

What does the agency always lie say?

1. You will become an extended part of a new family. If every domestic help were treated as a family member, the world would be more beautiful.

2. Host family offers room and board. I was sleeping in a children's bed. I'm so skinny (and short) that they should have offered me a crib.

3. You are taking on new responsibilities, but you will spend time with a wonderful family. Seriously? Once host mum told me that I'm straight-laced and the only hope for me was to have a casual sex.

4. If you're keen on studying foreign languages - it's a perfect job for you. My dream was to speak Spanish fluently. Host kids didn't have a smattering of English so host mum called the agency to change the contract. So I had to speak English all the time.

It was an unforgettable experience, but I didn't develop life skills or make friends with many people. I just explored Spain and taking care of children almost leads me to a crime :D

Being a hipster: unwritten rules

Do you think that wearing a ragged shirt and faded jeans make you more hipster? Nope. Nowadays everybody can be a hipster. If I were a hipster, I would be upset about the fake hipster epidemic. It spreads faster than avian flu. I thought that being a hipster is just wearing old clothes (but unique). 

Strangely, hipster's clothes are trendsetting, but from... well-known designers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but... They should stay away from the social mainstream. I read in a magazine that the real hipsters loved jazz, listened to poetry, read books and they couldn't afford to buy high fashion clothes. Where are they? They didn't change their lifestyle, they just have died xd

 

These days, hipsters are a media-construed product. How many times have you heard "Be a hipster. It's so cool! Burn your formal cocktail dress and buy a vintage one". Alternatively, you can send me that dress. I will give you my address. First of all, look for over-sized glasses and have fun with people that look like you, but think that they're so original.

 

 

Being eccentric

Last week I saw an interview with Helena Bonham Carter. She's one of the most inspiring actresses. In general, the conversation that she had with the journalist was a little bit dull, but... I realized (pretty quickly) that he didn't read Harry Potter. When you're setting up an interview, you should do a detailed research unless you dream of being considerate a complete fool! Such behavior was a complete disrespect not because I adore her, but they paid him for doing his job. When she began to repeat “aristocratic”, I was savoring each word. It's worth saying that she comes from a noble line. Tim Burton, her former partner, as you know, is a film director. His movies, the mysterious, gloomy or just ghoulish creations of the mind have enchanted me. She also was very judicious with how she has planned her career.

Burton was living with Helena in two adjoining houses. What a great idea! OK, I should use a synonym of great. Surprisingly, they split up without a public announcement. Finally, she broke the silence. She explained that sometimes we aren't meant to be forever together. My favorite eccentric couple...

Polish instagram girls

It makes me laugh when someone says "you don't need money to be stylish". The truth is that a credit card is the key that opens many doors. My facebook is inundated with photos of Instagram girls(I'm asking: why?! what have I done to be punished?!). More and more girls are becoming prettier, more stylish and  just"cooler" (and I'm in stuck in the middle of nowhere criticizing them and eating junk food). Insta girls are the new phenomena(/horror).

Some ruls that you have to follow if you want be a Polish insta girl:

1. You should build a solid wardrobe. You don't have to be a slave to fashion, but get a pricey swag to.. get on a trend. For example, buy some black string and put it around your neck. High fashion is an easy ride.

2. Post sexually-charged photos. My friend told me that in tinder world they have only a second to decide if you're a "babe" or a "troll".

3. Look gorgeous at the profile photo(yep, with a slap on your face). Obviously, lack of pores and spots is required. Use black-and-white filter to be more mysterious.

4. Food porn. Post photos of your dinner. If you eat something totally normal, sprinkle it with chive o  kale. Make it more stylish xd

Girls, don't get me wrong: be yourself, but don't go to the pubs where I normally go xd

WAGS

WAGS - wife and girlfriends of sports stars.
I will define the abbreviation more precisely without being sarcastic. Wags are the elite of the hottest girls that you can imagine. They say that they have to represent his husbands the best they can...Hmm... They're like fruits.

Orange: orange skin
Watermelon: too sweet, nauseatingly sweet - you need to add some alcohol to bear the flavour. To bear the wag's behavior I recommend you a long drink or a shot -> if you know what I mean xd
Cherry: the stone that you take out is like a sample of wags brain. Microscopic, hard and useless.

Am I jealous? A wag always has a mansion with a back yard, front yard, vegetable garden, winter garden. That means... omg, so many fine gardeners :)
To conclude, as the fortune is increasing, their faces are getting prettier and the brain is... what brain?

La la la

I thought that it was totally outrageous that "La la land" had equaled the record of most Oscar nomination. They can break the record for most wins! So yesterday I went to the cinema to get permission to criticize "La la land".

I won't tell you anything about the plot, but I really enjoyed the movie. "La la land" shows that we don't have to be careful what we wish for, but we should make decisions carefully.
I will present you what people normally do in their life:

School/University:
You learn by heart so many stupid things, you look over your notes before the exam to be sure that you remember every word. Obviously, you live under pressure, because you can't retake an exam. What's more, you submit all the essays that you don't want to write. Consequently, you don't have time to take up a sport or split up with your crush (because you don't have a boyfriend, you're a geek xd).

Work:
You were a great student, but you won't receive fringe benefits, they will offer you minimum wage and make you redundant whenever they want to. You will be stuck behind a desk o glued to a computer screen.

Does it sound familiar? OK, not for everybody. Fortunately, I don't study journalism or couching, so there are sings of hope :D

"La la land" promotes the idea that dreams come true, but we should think "ok, this is the path to the victory, but will it make me happy"?

Chia seeds, goji berries and... KEBAB

    I don't reject the meatless cuisine, but asparagus taste better with parma ham. Ok, I'm a student, so I buy Biedronka's ham. It's tasteless, but a good ketchup can do the trick. Yesterday my friend took me out for a lunch. We went to a meat-free restaurant. I'm getting tired of vegan or vegetarian bars in Poznań. I felt an overwhelming desire to run away.  Won the power of friendship. The menu was a mystery for me. The waitress was really kind trying to explain me the ingredients of the dishes. I didn't follow her. As I had low expectations, the dish I ordered wasn't so bad. Moreover, the chopped kale contains an anti-cancer... something xd Another advantage - kebab bar was near to that restaurant.

    I agree that plants have all the proteins that our body needs. If you want to be a vegetarian or vegan, I respect you and I will support you with pleasure. But you can't think that being vegetarian makes you superior. I've met so many people that thinks that they are more... sensitive? If I were vegan I wouldn't tell it to everybody. I know that your diet reduces the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease.

    The plan was to write short stories about all the strange things that happen to me (and practice narrative tenses). Unfortunately, something has changed and I have become less clumsy. My friend said bluntly that she didn't get that impression. She is too outspoken. We should talk to each other frankly. I let her read my blog entries... I would like to cite the words of my ex best friend: I'm frustrated with everything that surrounds me.